The Honeycomb film review model

Models. They are great. They let us break things down, get closer to what really matters and fully comprehend the situation. If only the world had more models.

Film reviewing has always remained a dark art to me. I’ve tried to review films and failed every time (without fail). I have concluded that film critique requires skill and practice, therefore I will leave it to the professionals. But as an engineer (studying), I love abstraction. Hence, my love for models.

Here I present my proposal for critique of a film, in an abstract manner, with something I call the Honeycomb film review model. It looks at the success of a film like a honeycomb. There are four somewhat discreet echelons.

1. A great, almost perfect film is a completed honeycomb with maybe a few hexagons lacking some honey. Examples: Dunkirk, Bridge of Spies

2. A dishevelled film lacking direction – one that would be better if it was completely remade. These films aren’t necessarily awful (although they can be), they might be good to watch but not feel complete. Examples: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Jurassic World

3. A good, fun film. Most people will like it, including the critics, but it’s not great. These films are a completed honeycomb, but not with the finest quality honey. Examples: Logan, Spiderman: Homecoming

4. This is the most variant group. The honeycomb is basically complete but a lot of the hexagons are half filled. These films are not necessarily awful (but can be), they just have some major flaws which can completely ruin the film or be overlooked. These are the type of films which critics dispute over. They evoke strong feelings, creating two poles – hate or love. Examples: The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Interstellar

The beauty of this model (if I may say so myself) is that it’s more objective than subjective. For instance, the fourth band is where opinions will differ most strongly. In the first two echelons, there will of course be disagreements on the quality of the film, but a consensus is likely to be reached.

One flaw I see immediately with this model is the lack of a place for films that critics love but viewers hate. Perhaps, they belong in the first group, but that could mean that this model has a bias towards critics opinions. Furthermore, films like the latest Transformers movie would firmly fall in the second echelon, yet you will get groups of people who would argue it belongs in at least band 3.

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